Welcome to my Enigma
JANUARY-FEBRUARY 2001
I began to notice that the week before my period, the wondrous PMS time,
that my normal PMS was changing. The mood swings got more severe.
Higher highs, lower lows. Being on edge one minute and sobbing the next.
I was not experiencing just the usual crankiness or sadness that I
got once a blue moon. It was now every month and becoming
more and more severe.
I noticed my sleeping pattern becoming more and more erratic.
I would go to bed about 10:30 PM, wake up at 2:00 am and be ready to start the day,
without being tired. Every week I was getting less and less sleep.
Every week missing sleep less and less.
My boyfriend and I have decided to open up a joint checking
account for our household bills. If you have not concluded by now
we do live together. I needed to set up a direct deposit of my check
from work to our new account. I am afraid to do this.
Is it a trust issue?
No. I do not feel like he is going to take my money.
Then what do I feel?
I think he and my mother have talked and want me to get a
joint account with him so when I have to going into a mental
hospital they can still take care of my bills.
Paranoia sets in
I had a dream. Well, more like a nightmare. It was about my boyfriend.
In my dream we were at this party. The next thing I know I
was looking for him. I finally found him.
He was in a bathroom with another woman hanging all over him.
I became really upset. He told me that we were over.
He was very rude in my dream and it hurt me deeply.
He is nothing like that in real life.
I woke up crying, which woke him up.
He held me tightly and finally the sobbing stopped.
It seemed so real.
I could feel the pain.
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